I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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