Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
