You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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