Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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