I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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