What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
