that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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