When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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