On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
