i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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