Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
