Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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