i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
