i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
