It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
