My brain says no but my pants say off.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
