So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
