There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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