i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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