This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
