How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
