He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
