Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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