tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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