hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
