he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I didn't notice because vodka
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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