Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
