): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
