They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
