So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
