five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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