I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
