You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
