didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
