That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
