What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
