windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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