Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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