so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
