are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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