how can u be prego again
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
