I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
