I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
