She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
