Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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