I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
