I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
