And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
