apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
