I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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