her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
