my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
