Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
