I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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